Downward Spiral

Lets be honest: I am stressed. Its a good stress, I suppose, because I am getting ready for the big move, but stressed nonetheless. I am breaking out, and my ‘stress-eating’ is getting worse and worse.  I haven’t been to the gym in a week and I feel like I have so much to do and not a whole lot of time to do it. I am being pulled in too many directions.  There are people to see, things to do, errands to run. Stress is my trigger…to eat. I’m letting go, and not in the good way.  I’m letting go of myself, of what I know I should and shouldn’t do, but do anyways.

I tend to think that overeating has always been a problem for me.  Looking back, though, it really wasn’t.  Yeah, I ate bagels and pasta and the occasional chips and salsa, only ate out once a week usually, but I still ate fruits and vegetables and was active. Looking back….I’m not sure what I would have done differently.  Hindsight is a funny thing.

I get into a routine, and then fall out of it.  Its something I really want to work on.  I do really well, and then get stressed, become careless with my eating, and not exercise as much as I should.  Its hard because I know what I should be doing, but I just don’t do it. And now, with my departure date arriving so soon, I am becoming careless.  My mindset has to change, however, because if I think I am stressed now, I can’t even imagine how I will be feeling come midsemester.

I don’t deal with stress well.  I freak out. I panic. I want everything to be perfect, but hey, nothing ever is. I hate falling behind and I am meticulous in what I do, which becomes problematic when everything piles up.  Its not my strong suit.  I let the nerves get the best of me. And I want to control.  I don’t want to eat “second dinners” or stop taking care of myself.

Phew, sorry for the rant. I had to get it out. I have one full day left in Hingham until I head home to the Green Mountain State.  I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT.

Tata for now!

To cheer me up, tell me something lovely that has happened to you lately!! 

 

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About Jenna

I am a 21 year old senior at Saint Michael's College in Colchester, VT and this is my blog on my journey to being a better person, inside and out.
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2 Responses to Downward Spiral

  1. You are so close, no worries we all get stressed and we all deal with it in different ways. It happens. You are preparing for a big change and move so give yourself a break! I know I need to do that a lot!

  2. I stress eat too. I’ve been trying other ways of self soothing, like taking a walk or a relaxing bath/shower or aromatherapy. Maybe one of those would help? If not, google self soothing for a ton of great ideas!

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