Downward Spiral

Lets be honest: I am stressed. Its a good stress, I suppose, because I am getting ready for the big move, but stressed nonetheless. I am breaking out, and my ‘stress-eating’ is getting worse and worse.  I haven’t been to the gym in a week and I feel like I have so much to do and not a whole lot of time to do it. I am being pulled in too many directions.  There are people to see, things to do, errands to run. Stress is my trigger…to eat. I’m letting go, and not in the good way.  I’m letting go of myself, of what I know I should and shouldn’t do, but do anyways.

I tend to think that overeating has always been a problem for me.  Looking back, though, it really wasn’t.  Yeah, I ate bagels and pasta and the occasional chips and salsa, only ate out once a week usually, but I still ate fruits and vegetables and was active. Looking back….I’m not sure what I would have done differently.  Hindsight is a funny thing.

I get into a routine, and then fall out of it.  Its something I really want to work on.  I do really well, and then get stressed, become careless with my eating, and not exercise as much as I should.  Its hard because I know what I should be doing, but I just don’t do it. And now, with my departure date arriving so soon, I am becoming careless.  My mindset has to change, however, because if I think I am stressed now, I can’t even imagine how I will be feeling come midsemester.

I don’t deal with stress well.  I freak out. I panic. I want everything to be perfect, but hey, nothing ever is. I hate falling behind and I am meticulous in what I do, which becomes problematic when everything piles up.  Its not my strong suit.  I let the nerves get the best of me. And I want to control.  I don’t want to eat “second dinners” or stop taking care of myself.

Phew, sorry for the rant. I had to get it out. I have one full day left in Hingham until I head home to the Green Mountain State.  I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT.

Tata for now!

To cheer me up, tell me something lovely that has happened to you lately!! 

 

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MIMM: The Final Countdown

I am finally succumbing to The Healthy Diva  and sharing whats so marvelous in my Monday.

  • Marvelous…that I move back to the green mountain state and into school in 5 days!!! I have been packing all day and I have so many fun kitchen and home things that I cannot wait to bring down 🙂 I will post pictures when I am all settled!
  • Marvelous…the weather has cooled down significantly.  I don’t know about you but I hate super humid and hot days.  They are just not enjoyable.  Its been in the low 70s today and absolutely gorgeous!
  • Marvelous…my ankles are feeling better! I still haven’t ran on them but they are feeling great and the swelling has gone down.
  • Marvelous…Reconnecting with friends.  I have a somewhat complicated friendship with a certain fellow but we have been talking more and I think we are on the road to recovery.  Life is too short to hold grudges.
  • Marvelous…that I am getting a haircut tomorrow.  I usually only get haircuts going back to school, usually in August and January.  I love getting my hair cut, especially when its as dead as it is right now.  However, I am still having trouble deciding the length I want. Decisions, decisions…
  • Marvelous…That I got so much family time this weekend! My family never ceases to entertain me…especially my dad’s side.  They are true gems, and sometimes I count my blessings that I am not blood related 😉 Jokes, jokes hehe.
  • Marvelous…in my last week of work! I had such a great day on Saturday, and those are usually the tough shifts so this week will be a breeze because I will only be teaching clinics for 2 hours today, tomorrow, and Wednesday.  Then I am home free!

What’s marvelous in your Monday?

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My Person

We all have that friend, that friend you can talk to about absolutely anything and whenever you’re together it seems like you’ve never been apart.  Some call it soulmates, I call it Anna.

Now Anna and my friendship hasn’t been perfect.  Like any best friends, we have had our definite ups…and our definite downs.  This past fall was especially hard.  We were both in relationships that were not healthy and we went through a rough patch.  I’m not sure exactly what happened, but it was the worst few months of my life.  I myself am not a confrontational person and tend to let the person come to me if they have an issue and never push the situation.  In this case, I let a friendship that has meant so much to me in the past 2 years deteriorate.

 

When I was abroad in England, I was missing my SMC family hardcore and I finally sent her an email essentially saying how I didn’t know how things got to the point that they did and how I couldn’t imagine losing her as a best friend.  I love her so much and those few months were torture.  I was so happy she responded and we talked about it and we are closer than ever now. Its so strange; people come in and out of your life so quickly but there are those people that you couldn’t imagine living without.  Freshman year, Anna and I just clicked.  She understood me, all of crazy me.  She has been my one consistant shoulder to cry on when I am feeling low and boys are mean to me or I am just downright stressed with school.  She grounds me. She is my person.

I  talked to Anna on the phone yesterday while I was at work (horrible employee here) and I learned I will get to see her sooner than I had thought! Anna is going to Brazil for the semester to work in a Public Health program but she will be at SMC for move in weekend! It made me the happiest girl in the world.  We chatted and were just silly for a few hours.  Isn’t it great when you talk to an old friend and time flies? A few hours seem like a few minutes.

 

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Woah, That Girl Is Gone.

I mentioned a few days ago that I was reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, and I finally finished it the other day. Now I don’t want to sound pretentious, but I tend to consider myself a book connoisseur. I devour books like its my job. “Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.”
― Cornelia FunkeInkheart.  Well, I am still in the devouring stage.  Books are my escape.  When I am low, unhappy, or downright depressed, I go to books.  Thats probably why I read about 15 when I was abroad.  2 semesters ago, I wrote a 7 page paper on my literary autobiography and how the Harry Potter series impacted my life in the way it did. Reading has had an enormous shaping me as a woman.  I have had countless adventures in many different lands, such as Narnia, Middle-Earth, Neverland, Wonderland, and Hogwarts.  For as long as I can remember, I have had a book in my hand. My crib when I was a baby was not limited to mobiles and stuffed toys, but picture books as well. I was reading and learning the alphabet by age three. I would fall asleep to books on tape in my nursery rather than the soothing sounds of rain forests or the ocean or whatever normal babys fall asleep to.

Anyways, Gone Girl kept my interest the ENTIRE time, which is difficult to do in some cases.  I have the books I am comfortable with, like Patterson or Sarah Dessen novels.  I kind of jumped on the Gone Girl bandwagon, but I wanted to see what all of the hype was about.  Well, this book was full of twists and turns and kept me intrigued the whole time. Definitely a page turner. The basic premises is Amy, who is married to Nick, mysteriously disappeared on their 5 year wedding anniversary.  As evidence is produced, the spotlight is turned to Nick as the primary suspect.  It is definitely a psychological “thriller” (I wouldn’t go so far as to say thriller because it is not gruesome or gory, but definitely is suspenseful and gets you thinking).  I read this book in 5 days and it grabbed me from the first page.  I definitely recommend this book!! Read it. Now.

Whats your favorite type of book to read? Are you an avid reader?

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Proceed To Party!

Boy do I love country bars.  I know a lot of people aren’t huge country fans, but I love it (only in the summers though, I get depressed listening to it in the winter).  Last night a bunch of us went to Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar&Grill.  But before I get to that part, let me back up and tell you about my fun physical experience.

So I’ve been going to my pediatrician since I was 6 months old. Yup, almost 22 years old and I still go to a pediatrician.  Whatever. So anyways, everything went smoothly and everything is normal, and I’ve lost weight since last year which is nice.  However, I asked him about my ankles and I knew he wasn’t an ortho doctor but he could at least tell me if something was wrong and if I should go to an ortho doctor.  Well he told me to ice and rest. Also, to take a look at my sneaks. I just bought new ones last month.  I used to use asics but switched over to nikes so that might be it.  I’m not sure.  Anyways, as I was about to leave the office when he told me to wait for the nurse to come give me my shot.  Excuse me, what shot? He never said anything about a shot.  So I asked, and it was the HPV shot.  I knew my mom had been hesitant for a while about me getting it because it was still new and I didn’t know the side effects of it and I didn’t even get the consent for the drug. Um hell0…illegal!! So that was super annoying and my mom was not pleased. I have to get my second shot in October when I am home for fall break and I heard it hurts like a biotch so theres that.

That night, a few girlfriends and I went to Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar&Grill, which is always a blast.  The band that was playing was not as good as the one that was there last time and they didn’t do covers (pretentious much?!) but it was a great time to be had by all.  I pride myself on having always been a social person.  I thrive on social situations.  While I am not the most confident girl, the ‘hottest’ girl, or the girl with the most friends, I love going out and just being with my friends.  I would be lost without my close girlfriends.

 

 

 

Today was my last day of work, and all of the regulars were so great to me.  I got a few tips (monetary, not verbal 😉 ) and I realized how great my job is.  I get to interact with some great people everyday, and even though cleaning out dirty golf carts and powerwashing them is probably the worst part of the job, its still pretty awesome.  I will definitely miss it if I don’t return next summer.

We also held a mini family reunion tonight! I only caught the last bit since I was at work until 8pm, but I got to see a lot of family from my mom’s side, which we don’t see as much.  It was so great and my cousins are getting so big! I remember when they were 8, and now they are teenagers in high school! Definitely makes me feel old.

 

Whats your favorite way to socialize with friends? Do anything fun lately?! 

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Friday Favorites!

After a long week, I am so happy its Friday! What better way to start the weekend than with Friday favorites! 🙂

Favorite Style: I love coral and black together!! Its such a classic look, and I actually rocked this exact outfit yesterday, but substituted black penny loafers for the wood wedges. So comfy but still classic and cute!

Favorite Workout: I love Dexter, and this is such a great idea instead of just sitting on the couch.  And with the rapid occurrence of all of these, I’m sure it will kick my butt.  Definitely want to try, especially with the new season coming out in September! 

Favorite Motivation:

 

 

Favorite Recipe: I want to try this unfried southern chicken so badly! Baked chicken is my weakness, and this looks like it will hit the spot! Get the recipe here!

 

Favorite Fall Snack: Pumpkin is such a fall staple and this granola looks to DIE. Get it here.

 

Favorite Laugh: Oh Prince Harry, you’re so sassy.

Favorite YouTube Video: Dom Mazzetti is my guilty pleasure…his video’s are hilarious.

What’s your favorite thing this Friday?!

 

 

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Getting My Act Together

A little recap of the day: I finally pulled my lazy butt off of my couch and far away from Laguna Beach (tear) and ran errands, including the country club to pick up my paycheck, the bank, and heaven Whole Foods. I got lots of yummyness, including:

 

These are AWESOME and taste just like Wheat Thins, but a lot less calories and, in my opinion, even better. I bought this baby to go along with it:

 

Holy shiznat this stuff was so good.  I love crackers and dip and either salmon or crab dip is usually my favorite, but I saw this stuff and knew I had to try it.  It was cheesy deliciousness with a chili kick to it. Only 70 calories for 2 tablespoons!! Yes please.

 

I love having these along side my lunches or as a snack, usually with spicy yellow mustard or peanut butter, or more recently, cookie butter. So delicious.

After my errands, I indulged in some more Laguna (couldn’t help myself), and then my parents treated me to a dinner at our country club.  It was a beautiful night, so we sat outside and sipped our wine and chatted about my future. Such a fun topic.  I brought up the fact that I don’t think I want to work at my country club next summer, but the thing is, I’m an education major and theres no school in the summer so I need to find a filler job.  I love the country club and its a great summer job, but I really think I want to start doing some history research or work in archives or something.  Something related to what I’m actually going to school for.  I thought my parents would think this was great, but alas, they think I should stay at the country club.  No thanks. I’d like a summer where I’m not cleaning other peoples garbage out of golf carts and sitting on a tee box for 8 hours. Anyhoo, finally the main meal came, and mine was scrumptious.   I got a lobster cobb salad with balsamic on the side and boy was it great.

 

Tonight was spent researching for my thesis in the fall.  I’m reading Between Two Fires: Europe’s Path in the 1930’s by David Clay Large on GoogleBooks.  I usually hate reading things on the computer and always print out my documents so I can highlite and make notes in the margin, but you can’t print on GoogleBooks and you can’t even make it a PDF! Rude. Alas, I digress.

 

Tomorrows day includes a physical, Body Combat, and Toby Keiths I Love This Bar! I’ve been before and I am so excited to go back!

Don’t forget to smile…its almost Friday!! 

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